One of the greatest and by far worst inventions of the twentieth century might just be the snooze button. It is the Venus Fly Trap of time. Attractive, and appealing on the outside, it promises harmless minutes of extra sleep. And then, SNAP! We are caught in an endless nine minute cycle which forever alters the course of our day.
Over dramatic you say? I say, NOT! Since first year university when it created an early morning vortex that swallowed an entire semester of Psych 101, I have been aware of its deceptively evil powers. And even today, after years of exposure and training, there are still times when I find my visions of an early morning workout transformed into small puddles of drool on my pillow.
It is a devilishly addictive creature. Like cigarettes, the snooze button was designed to keep us hooked. I think about the incessant, mind torturing ‘beep beep beep’ of my first analog clock. Of course I struck out at the instrument that was splitting my groggy brain in half. And the first thing that my hand hit was that huge snooze button at the top. It was like the reward button in a Skinner Box. I was always one slap away from peace and quiet.
As well, the snooze on my first alarm clock was for 9 minutes. In the grand scheme of my day, 9 minutes was nothing. So I would hit snooze and drift back to sleep. When I was awoken 9 minutes later, my first thought was, “9 minutes is nothing.” and I would hit snooze again. Now if Lew Wallace (the inventor of the snooze button) had made the duration something a little more substantial like 12 minutes we might not have the same dilemma!
Quite the conspiracy theory, I know. But it makes it easier for me to rationalize my own unwillingness to sometimes get out of bed. In the winter, the ability to hit snooze makes my choice between the cold tile floors and my warm bed so much easier. Plus I have the potential of actually getting up a mere nine minutes later.
I have moved beyond the pulsating bleets of alarm clocks and wake up to the music on my phone. Although it is a much more soothing way to begin my day, the snooze button still gets the better of me. At least once a week, I find myself listening to the first three seconds of Hey, Soul Sister, by Train, two or three times before I get out of bed. Siaya refers to it as the wake up song. To me it is more like crack. (Damn snooze button!)
Hey, Soul Sister youtube link